Why, oh, why, am I constantly seduced by the idea of horror films? I think it's something akin to my colleague's unwavering optimism that a good Saw film can be, and eventually will be, made. I search high and low for quality horror only to be disappointed. So, does this fill any gaps?Put it this way, there is a reason none of you have heard of this. This atrocious piece of filmmaking centres on a young "delinquent" girl sent to a mysterious boarding school (located, oh yes, in the middle of some eerie, haunted, woods) to be reformed. There is some absurd backstory about some witches possessing the school and the woods. Come to think of it, why did I rent this again? Should I not at least have been warned by the fact that it's directed by someone called Lucky McKee?
Anyway, it's not at all scary, there are no thrills and spills and I turned it off after an hour. I did last an hour, however, and I'm proud of that. It's atrocious, completely unfrightening tripe, which at times crosses over from the absurd to the offensive (the heroine is referred to as "firecrotch" by her bitchy classmates because she has red hair. Oh dear, oh dear.)
However, there is one truly scary and frightening thing about The Woods. Patricia Clarkson is in it. Yes, that Patricia Clarkson. The Patricia Clarkson revered by critics and the indie-film watching fraternity. Yes, the same Patricia Clarkson who acts the screen off to awesome effect in the wonderful Station Agent. And it was made in 2006, so no excuses there Patricia. I think Patricia should have taken the advice I'm about to give you:
Don't go down to the woods today!
F
1 comment:
Lucky McKee? Surely a made up name? And yes that should have been even warning.
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